Dear Michael

sometimes I dont know what Im doing. Sometimes it feels like I cant deal with the fans anymore. All the new fans new members, all the excitemnet over finding new photos, new footage. Its like, where the hell have they been. Its now they are huge fans, whereas before June they couldnt care less. I really dont care about their stupid sob stories, their petty excuses as to why they were not fans before. Does this make me a bad person?? Should I just welcome them with open arms and say oh never mind you are a fan now?

Sometimes I feel like I should just stop going to the forums. Theres no point, cos Im never going to see you again. But then day after day, I still find myself logging in, checking my messages, checking the new threads and topics. Am I doing this cos I enjoy the forums or am I doing it cos its just habit, something Ive been doing for years and years??

Its like a neverending circle. Maybe Im just not ready to let you go, to say that final goodbye. By staying on the forums, its like you are still here, and Im just not able to take the reality that you are gone.