Sometimes I wonder why I continue to be an active fan. Is all the drama and conflict worth it… When my experience and knowledge gets misunderstood… when people feel threated by my pro activeness… when bitterness and guilt turn to jealousy…… when rumours and lies are spread about me… when I am made to feel unwelcome and not wanted…..
Im opionated and scarcastic and have a dark humour…. I speak my mind and dont take crap from anyone… I have strong views and Im not afraid to ruffle feathers and say things which others dont want to say or hear……
All I know is that I have been active in the fan community since 1998 and in those years have seen many fans come and go. Like the real world, the fan community is survival of the fittest. The strong will survive and carry on, while the weak stumble and fade away. Like the real world, the new must learn and respect those who are experienced and knowledgable. New to the fan community does not mean new fan and those who are becoming active for the first time need to respect long term members, even if those long term members are many years younger than the new members.
The constant conflict is dragging down the fan community, and much of it seems to be centered around those who have become active in the last year.
I will not give up on Michael, I never have but I am shutting down. Im tired of being hurt,of rumours spread about me. I refuse to be pushed out of something which is my life but I dont want any more conflict or drama. From now on, I will be more selective with who I become friends with, which fan events and projects I become involved in. I have been hurt too much to just want to know all fans and be involved with all projects.