Im really amazed at how people new to the fan community have come to have such influence and people lap up their every word, while those who have been active for many years and have alot of experience are ignored, ridiculed and their stories and photos are made out to be lies!
How did this happen? Where is the respect for those who had the courage and self confidence to make their support of Michael public, to be the ones who represented the wider fan community and the ones who made Michael smile and know that no matter what , the fans still cared for him?
I grew up in a world with no internet, no mobile phones. All I had were newspapers, magazines and what I could tape from the tv. I was not part of any fan club, I didnt know any other people like me. For over 15 years I kept my love of Michael private. During those years, I watched in wonder and amazement all the fan footage and documentries of the Bad and Dangerous tours. Over and over I watched the fans outside Michaels hotels, at the barriers. My dream was to be one of them, to know what it felt like to be outside a building that Michael was in. Back then, I thought it was impossible. How could a lonely child like me, with no friends, from a poor area of Dublin, whos family didnt understand modern pop culture even get to see Michael in concert , let alone be part of the groups of fans at the hotels?
All I had was this deep burning need inside me. Somehow year after year I kept dreaming, kept wishing. Finally in 1997, after being a fan since Thriller era, I made it to the Dublin History concert. I was on my own, soo soo scared. I was 21 yet, I was a young 21. I had no clue what I was doing, yet somehow I made it to the queue as early as I could. When I got there, my heart was in my mouth. All round me were faces I recognised from the fan documentries. Suddenly I was part of the world I had wished for. I began talking to the fans around me. I never felt jealous when hearing their stories. Instead they gave me hope and confidence. If they could do it , so could I.
Talking to those fans in the queue, gave me the push I needed. When I got home that night, it was like a new me awakening. I decided to write to MJNI, whos address I had seen in Adrian Grants book , The Visual Documentry.
In the beginning, when I was just starting out, I loved hearing the fans stories. I never felt bitterness or jelously, I never made fun of them. It felt like by hearing their stories, I was able to connect with Michael in a way I never felt possible. When I heard stories from fans who had travelled around Europe in the summer of 1997 for the History tour, I felt privileged and honoured that I was sharing in something so special. When they showed my their photos, I never once doubted they were real.
Hearing the stories from the more experienced fans, I learnt soo much. They were my mentors, taking me under their wing, passing on their experience and knowledge to the new crop of fans like me, who were just starting out on this magical adventure.
As the years passed, and I became more experienced, I started doing the same. As those who had helped me when I was started out had done, I began helping the new crop of fans. I began taking people under my wing, sharing my stories and experiences, teaching the new crop , like I had been taught.
Thats why I cant understand the mentality of the fans new to the fan community since June 09. All they do is ridicule, pour scorn over and pass on mis information. How will the next generation, the babies born since June 09 learn about Michael, if those who met him, were close to him, experienced things first hand are pushed out of the fan community? Soon all the fan stories will be lost, the magic of Michael will fade and all that will be left are the bitter and jealous rantings of those who have no clue who the real Michael was and what he stood for.
